Mom Shaming, It’s A Real Thing.

Man, when did it become okay to mom shame someone for every single decision they make. When did it become okay to essentially bully someone publicly because they are doing something that isn’t exactly in line with your personal experience or beliefs. When did it become okay to tell someone how she should feel about their pregnancy experience?

I cringe when “veteran moms” take a community forum (like facebook) for expecting mothers who have questions and turn it into a place to bash and give unsolicited advice without any solid research #IHaveGoogle, duh!

Women are beautiful creatures. Ones that have the ability to grow a human, birth and raise a child, which then leads us to believe we are experts. I even catch myself saying things like “well what I experienced was/is…” when talking to people who just announced their pregnancy. We do this because we are all in this journey it’s great to share our experiences with those around us who are going through it. But, at the same time, there’s a certain way you should go about it. There’s a difference in sharing our experiences versus telling another mom how she should do it, how she should feel, how she should act, etc. You name it. I think I’ve heard it all by now.

So moms-to-be, here is my message to you. Take EVERYTHING with a grain of salt. Appreciate advice and feedback without being too sensitive to it. If it’s important to you, do your own research. If you could care less, then don’t even read into it. Try not to get offended with comments, demands and judgment. But it’s one of those things, everyone is going to have an opinion or a way to do things that they believe is right. Especially someone like me, I put a lot of my life on social media. That opens the floodgates for comments and messages about how I should be feeling or raising my unborn child. As long as YOU are doing the best that YOU can and doing what YOU feel is right, then that’s alright in my book 🙂 . Give yourself credit for how well you are handling this process and what’s to come. It’s a huge life adjustment, and you are doing just fine!

Veteran moms, here is my message to you (and I promise I will take my own advice when I get there). Don’t be an a-hole. Haven’t you heard of the Golden Rule? If you don’t have anything nice to say, then don’t say it at all. Be gentle when relaying information. Don’t poke fun or make the questioning momma feel stupid for asking in the first place. Especially us first time mom/pregnant ladies it’s confusing some of the things happening and often times scary. The best thing you can do is share your experience IF SOMEONE ASKS without telling the new mom how to live her life.

As women in general we should focus on empowering women throughout the process instead of bringing them down or making them question their decisions. Shoot, that’s why I write this blog! To be some sort of messenger for my fellow mommas out there dealing with pregnancy/parenting concerns! I never claim to be an expert, nor should you. Every parent, parents differently. No matter what catty comment or message you send to that new momma just remember, they do have their own feelings, their own beliefs and yes, their own google.

 

Can you relate to this article? What have you experienced as a pregnant mom, a new mom or a veteran mom? Share & feel free to vent!

By | 2017-08-29T11:48:31+00:00 August 29th, 2017|Mamas Corner|9 Comments

9 Comments

  1. Lisa Renshaw August 29, 2017 at 12:01 pm - Reply

    Great blog Erin! I am a veteran mom and I can honestly say that there’s no right or wrong way to parent! I wasnt’t given a manual when our first daughter was born nor the second daughter. Lord knows I would have needed two totally different manuals. Every child is different and requires different nurturing and guidance. So definitely take anyone’s advice with a grain of salt. Enjoy getting to know what works for your baby and you(and of course Jake)! I loved being pregnant and I feel like raising our girls went so fast. You and Jake will be awesome parents!
    Now onto to welcoming our first grandchild in November!

    • Erin Saba August 29, 2017 at 12:09 pm - Reply

      Thank you so much for reading! YES!!! I couldn’t agree more. Every child that I have met or seen other parents with their kids, it’s all different. It never looks the same. It’s all about finding what works for you. Mostly trial and error I’m sure! HA! I am so excited for you to be a grandma! I can’t believe your daughter and I are due around the same time. How ironic <3

  2. Krysta Whitbread August 29, 2017 at 12:12 pm - Reply

    Right on girlfriend!!! I love this!!! Everyone is learning and do things their own way. What worked for one might not work for another. Us moms need to high five eachother and support eachother because it gets hard and no one understands like another mom! So to all you Mommas, or soon to be, keep doin your thing girl! You are amazing and your babe/babes love you more then life!

    • Erin Saba August 29, 2017 at 12:22 pm - Reply

      I couldn’t agree more!! Thank you so much for reading! =D

  3. Mary August 29, 2017 at 12:37 pm - Reply

    Way to go Erin!!! So so proud of this blog and you. ❤️❤️❤️❤️

  4. Jessica Andring August 29, 2017 at 2:23 pm - Reply

    This is great and just so relevant and perfect! So many people give their opinion and so many people tell others how to parent and how things worked for them! Fact is that each child is different and so are the parents! Shaun and I feel differently than others And how we decide to parent is unique to us and that works for us! I do give my advice or opinion and maybe too frequently lol but I do remain positive and only lend what has happened in the case they can heed from my experience! I do not bash anyone for doing differently! I love this article! Keep on keeping on girl! You look great! Hope all is well!

    • Erin Saba August 30, 2017 at 1:54 pm - Reply

      I LOVE THIS COMMENT! IT is so true ! And it should be about what the parents want not always what is considered “the right way”. Honestly, is there really a right way to parent at all?!!? I know there isn’t a one size fits all for sure! Thank you so much for reading my blog <3

  5. Jenna August 29, 2017 at 7:56 pm - Reply

    So True! I have one little girl, and I cannot even begin to tell you how stressful it was during pregnancy and in the first few months in the trenches with a newborn. Since there is NO manual, you will be looking for answers from friends, family, and GOOGLE lol, I pray the people you encounter and there to offer your support rather than direction… you will figure it out as you go, we all do!
    Luckily, I found a great group of moms to connect with. I would believe there are more positive, nonjudgmental momma’s out there, than ones who aren’t 🙂 You will find your tribe of people for advice, and in just a few months you will have your own “advice” to share if someone asks for it. Babies are amazing, babies are also CRAZY complicated and so is parenting, we all need the support of each other 🙂 It takes a village to raise a child. I cannot wait for Baby Girl Saba to arrive, I am so excited for you, Jake and your friends and family.

    • Erin Saba August 30, 2017 at 1:53 pm - Reply

      Aww thank you SO much!!! Yes, I found a mom group that I actually feel very supportive in so I am so thankful for that for sure. Anxious to see what kind of parents we will be and how everything all pans out!

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